Finding My People

I’ve spent a lot of time in and out of sobriety trying to find that special group or those who I can lean on without question. To be frank – it has stressed me out and often brought up feelings of shame. I haven’t been able to find ‘my people’ and it used to make me feel bad. Now I’ve realized that I don’t have a set of people – only those in my life who align with my values and those that don’t. Putting energy in trying to find the perfect group doesn’t lead anywhere to me – I need to be focused on what my values are and spend more time with those who are in alignment. 

I’ve heard the phrase that you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with – and I completely agree. I tend to pick up the accents, mannerisms, and occasionally behaviors of those I spend the most time with. This can be a great thing or can be detrimental to my serenity and sobriety. I have to be vigilant in noticing who I am spending my time with and what I am picking up from them. On the same vein, I also have a responsibility to make sure that the values I am living out are those I would like others to pick up. 

At the end of the day, I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t have ‘people’ – there are many individuals in my life and I am grateful for all of them. I have a choice of who in my life I spend time with and trust, and I am striving to spend time with those who align with my values and make me a better person. The most important things are my sobriety and serenity and anyone who understands and supports that is one of ‘my people.’

Author: kevinussery

Recovering alcoholic with a desire to change the world through love and positivity. He/Him/His. All opinions expressed on blogs are mine alone unless otherwise stated.

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